In the corporate world and entrepreneurship, women face a challenge not often discussed openly: the difficulty of asking for support and help. It’s a recurring theme that I’ve experienced firsthand and worked through with many women in the corporate world, and it continues to surface in my coaching and mentoring sessions. I don’t know what it is, but we often find ourselves trapped in patterns and mindsets that prevent us from showing vulnerability and supporting each other. I believe it’s time to break these patterns and create the sisterhood that can drive the rapid development of women in all areas of society.
The Dilemma of Silence
In the corporate environment, many women feel they cannot raise their hands to ask for help. The predominant thoughts that arise are: “I’m supposed to know how to do this job,” “I’m supposed to know how to negotiate,” “My Boss hired me to inspire,” and many others that extend into personal and family life. These thoughts paralyze us, leaving us stuck and unable to ask for support due to fear, embarrassment, or shame. We worry that asking for help will be seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence.
On the other hand, women entrepreneurs tend to be more open to asking for help. However, in networking sessions, they often respond with phrases like: “Everything is going wonderfully; my business is doing great.” Despite the challenges, stress, and fears, we get caught up in the facade of success, unable to reveal our internal struggles and ask for the necessary support.
Can you imagine the impact it would have on your career or business if you felt free to ask for help without fear of judgment?
WOW, that would be powerful! For now, let’s dive deeper.
“Hey! We’re not superhumans. It’s OK to recognize our limitations. It’s OK to take breaks; it’s OK to let go and delegate; it’s OK to ask for help when we need it.”
Why Does This Happen to Women?
We observe that men, although they also face challenges with ego, have no qualms about openly sharing their challenges and asking for recommendations or help in the workplace. They recommend contacts, business ventures, and tools without fear of judgment, using phrases like: “How can you help me?” “What do you recommend?” or “What would you do?” Of course, it’s important to note that they do so in a different manner. Men often share recommendations and experiences but typically from a position of strength, meaning they don’t show vulnerability.
Women need to progress in this area in the workplace. Just as we have no problem discussing personal matters with our friends, we should also ask for help at work without fear or shame of being judged.
Woman, how often have you felt that asking for help might be seen as a weakness?
And even more so, what needs to happen for this NOT to be the case?
To change this dynamic, we must address three key societal points.
- Breaking the Wonder Woman Stereotype
We need to let go of the idea that we must do everything perfectly. We want to be the best mothers, wives, daughters, friends, professionals, leaders, athletes, homemakers, and so on. Hey! We are not superhumans. It’s OK to recognize our limitations. It’s OK to take breaks; it’s OK to delegate and ask for help when we need it.
A 2020 study by McKinsey & Company unequivocally demonstrates that women are more likely than men to believe they must meet higher standards in the workplace. 59% of women surveyed said they feel pressured to work harder to prove their competence, compared to 49% of men.
What do you need to break to feel more comfortable asking for help?
- Eliminating the Pattern of Constant Criticism of Others
Yes, I know this applies to all genders; however, I want to emphasize that constant criticism fills your mind, body, and heart with negative thoughts—lack of self-confidence, envy, resentment, and even hatred.
It takes time to reconfigure how we think and act, but it’s possible when you have the determination and perseverance to do so. As the saying goes: “What Juan says about Pedro says more about Juan than it does about Pedro.”
So, let’s think twice before criticizing because we will reveal everything we lack. Instead of attacking, we should support and celebrate the achievements of other women, learn from their mistakes, and bring out the best in every human being. Moving from the habit of criticizing to the habit of solidarity is key to our collective evolution.
- Breaking the Stereotype That Women Must Compete
The idea that opportunities are scarce and that we must compete among ourselves is a thing of the past—a very distant past. Today, there’s room for all of us, and unnecessary competition only divides us as a gender.
Yes, many women in leadership positions need to heal their wounds, everything that may have cost them to get to where they are. From that new self, they need to start supporting others, showing them the way forward, and providing resources so that future generations can develop appropriately and quickly occupy those decision-making roles. It’s about opening the conversation for collaboration and mutual support, where we will all become stronger and winners.
Sorority: The Path to Breaking Patriarchal Schemes
Sorority is a concept that goes beyond simple friendship among women. I love how Viviana Páez Ochoa defines it in her article Women and Sorority, where she says: “Sorority is the word that evokes all those women who have been sisters, friends, companions, colleagues, guides, mothers, daughters; it reminds us of all those who care, heal, protect, teach, support and are light for other women in a mutual pact of sisterhood and respect.”
From this space of being light and radiating light to others, we must dare to be where we start recognizing that we share similar experiences and challenges. By joining together, we can face them more effectively. Sorority invites us to break isolation and competition to build genuine support networks.
As a Leadership and Female Empowerment Coach, I’ve seen firsthand how sororities can transform careers and lives. I’ve worked with women who, at first, were afraid to show vulnerability and ask for help. They had built walls, wore strong masks, and carried heavy burdens for years. However, through coaching sessions, deep personal work, and participating in support networks, these women have learned to trust themselves and, most importantly, trust others. They’ve contributed to the development and success of other women, with an abundance mindset, practicing sorority.
Finally, I call on women to advance in breaking the patterns and wrong schemes that prevent us from asking for help. Let’s create or participate in support networks and, most importantly, celebrate other women’s achievements to build a culture of solidarity and boost success together.
I leave you with this challenge: How could you support another woman in your workplace or entrepreneurial environment today?
Ivett Casanova
