In my leadership coaching and career mentoring sessions, one of the most common topics women bring up is “developing the ability to influence.” This concern stems from their desire to make a greater impact in their roles, achieve results quickly with less sacrifice, and lead from a place of authenticity and purpose.
Influence is not just about having authority or getting others to follow orders. Genuine influence is more powerful and transformative because it connects, inspires, and motivates others toward a shared vision.
However, in a world where stereotypes, limiting beliefs, and barriers still exist, many women find it challenging to build this influence without compromising who they indeed are.
So, how can we lead with impact without losing our authenticity?
How do we build influence based on genuine connection and purpose?
I will answer these questions by first differentiating Authority vs. Influence.
Authority vs. Influence
Who comes to mind when you think of the word “authority”?
Perhaps you thought of your father, mother, grandparents, or some authority figure in your home who used to give orders. That’s where the concept comes from. From the moment we are babies, we learn to identify who holds authority in our home, and as we move through life, we recognize these figures in school, in our community, in our country, in our social circles, at work, and yes, even with our partners.
Let’s talk about some characteristics of authority. The first is legitimacy, meaning that a person is accepted and recognized by their subordinates, whether we like it or not; we end up accepting and legitimizing them, for example, the school principal or your boss. Another characteristic of authority is that it intrinsically involves the ability to make decisions that affect others based on the position one occupies in the organizational structure. Authority is closely tied to responsibility and obligation. In his analysis of managerial responsibility, Peter Drucker explains that authority comes with the duty of being accountable for the decisions made. Whether the outcome is good or bad, we’ve all seen how authority figures bear the consequences of their choices. Lastly, a key feature of authority is the power to sanction or reward. Remember when you were a child: if you didn’t do your schoolwork as expected, who imposed the consequences? Probably that authority figure.
So, having authority is often easier than influencing because it’s tied to our role in a given organizational structure (family, work, social circle, community, etc.). That role inherently carries these characteristics, leading us to act entitled and expect others to comply as we wish.
However, when we talk about influence, oh! that’s where the real challenge lies. That’s why it’s a topic that women often seek to develop.
The True Power of Influence
When we talk about influence, we are not talking about a position of power that grants us the right to make others obey. Influence is a more complex and profound leadership skill that is often more effective than authority. While authority can demand obedience, influence achieves commitment, motivation, and, most importantly, results or goal achievement.
John C. Maxwell, a prominent expert in leadership, believes that influence is created through building trust, respect, and genuine connections with others. This means that influence is not something that is imposed; it is nurtured. It does not rely on a hierarchical structure but on how you emotionally relate to and connect with those around you.
This skill becomes essential, I believe, in everyone’s life because it can help you achieve your goals quickly, with excellence, fluency, and, yes, success!
How Do I Know If I Am a Woman with Influence?
I invite you to reflect on the characteristics of influence based on experts like Maxwell and other leadership scholars. Some of the key traits of influence are:
- Relationships and Emotional Connection: Influence is developed on a solid foundation of relationships. You must always be willing to invest time in creating genuine connections with others, whether they are your team, colleagues, suppliers, friends, etc. You develop relationships when you understand others’ interests, challenges, and motivations, which creates a trusting environment where people feel valued and heard.
- Inspiration and Motivation: Influence is not about commanding others; it’s about inspiring them to be part of a shared vision. This aspect of influence depends on your ability to communicate the purpose behind your actions. Think about someone in your family or school who consistently came up with great projects and motivated everyone to support them. Why do you think they were followed? It was because they shared a meaningful purpose and passionately communicated their vision. As Maxwell states, influence moves people toward a goal because they see something valuable in it—something they also aspire to achieve.
- Credibility and Consistency: Without these, there is no lasting influence. Consistency in actions and integrity in behavior are fundamental for people to trust you. This means being congruent in what you think, say, and do and act according to your values and principles. This is one of the secrets of influential people: they are consistent and coherent, and that generates credibility.
- Empathy and Active Listening: A leader who truly listens and understands her team’s viewpoints and needs doesn’t just build trust; she shows a genuine interest in others’ well-being. Empathy is the way to connect on a deep level and provide authentic support.
Building Influence Without Authority
As I’ve shared, building influence is an art that requires time, consistency, and dedication. It is often more challenging than exercising formal authority. Influence invites others to join a cause voluntarily, not because it is an obligation, but because they believe in it.
The good news is that influence is not a gift reserved for a few; it is a skill anyone can develop and strengthen throughout life.
In a world that often defines success through titles, stereotypes, and hierarchies, women challenge this vision and create leadership based on authenticity, purpose, and genuine connection. So remember, authentic influence does not demand obedience; it inspires others to join in a shared and meaningful cause.
So, I ask you: Are you genuinely leading or managing from the comfort of authority?
Have you stopped to think if your presence inspires and moves people or if it simply ensures compliance?
Influence begins with how others see you and how they believe in you. Being an influential woman isn’t about titles; it’s about how you touch and transform the lives of those around you.
